An Old Lady's Mother's Day

I look at some of the other "Mommy Blogs" here...and I realize that, yet again, I am ahead of my time and do not fit in...my eyes find a feast of "younger than me" Mom's blogging to one another tips and tricks telling how to stay sane in the world of new Mommyhood and I wonder where the HELL they were at when I needed them! *sighs* they were in grade school more than likely...taking THEIR turn in the cycle of life and driving THIER mother's totaly insane ....mother's without the advantage of blogging...or being able to keep in touch with other crazed mom's worldwide...Mothers like J (and her blog...The state Of Discontent...a favorite of mine for reasons I won't go into here...but way to go J!) and Mom-101 (a mom that is MY brand of crazy...which makes me REALLY like her style!) that are just now dealing with their young...and learning that they will learn from their children for everyday for the rest of their lives...that everyday is going to be a new experience for them...be it a bad one or a grand one...a new wrinkle will be bestowed in Mommy's brain from this day forward...so beware young ladies...by the time THIS trip is taken (and I speak of the trip of Motherhood) your brain will be "wrinkled out"...as will your face and other very much needed body parts. Parts that seem "so-so" or "eh.....ok" right now will one day stand as a living monument of the ravages of gravity and the sacrifice you've just made to bring forth that oh so cute screaming, demanding, foot stomping, food spitting, toy throwing bundle of joy that you coo and worry so over right now. You will find yourself muttering "Elmo" and "Barney" in your sleep...making your better half wonder just who the HELL you spend your days with while he's away. You will find yourself using terms like "I'll be right back...I have to go POTTY" at the very few adult functions you will be attending over the years...or unconciously rocking back and forth at said function simply because you have lived through endless hours doing this to your colicky infant just for one blessed half hour of sleep before starting all of it over again because the little tyrant disguised as a baby has gas or is in a mood....and now even when not around the tiny bundle of joy...you are still unconciously in "comfort mode" (oh yeah....and when you do the unconcious rocking thing? Those around you will think to themselves that you must be some unfortunate female version of the Rainman!) But I digress....When MY generation of young women became mothers...it was up to us to stand and fight for our young ones....a generation of children that, for some reason, would be born with an incredible 33% Learning Disability rate...I can well remember crying my eyes out in the office of the "Special Education" administrator in our local school district office...because he had just told me that I should give it up and bus my 4 year old over 50 miles each day to the Special School district ...where all of the OTHER retards went...because he wasn't going to be allowed to go to THIS MAN'S school....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand what did THIS Mommy do? She got PISSED, THAT'S what she did. Suing both the district AND the state for services...standing with OTHER Mom's that had been told the same thing by this man and suing so that all of our children would have a clean, safe place to learn near home...forcing the district to meet our children's needs within the boundries of our own district...suing to make sure that this Asswipe of a neanderthal and all those like him were FIRED and making sure the district came up with qualified personel that would initiate I.E.P's (Individual Education Programs) for each and every "special needs" child. Letting each child learn it the least restrictive environment...and thus allowing the child to grow up learning with all of the other "more normal " children, thus, paving the way for the mothers and children of THIS generation to live in a more loving, friendly world......well....to an extent anyway. I now pass this gift on...the gift of a better, well rounded education for ALL of our children on to you....I can't wait to see what you do with it
Ladies...prepare yourselves...for this journey of motherhood will test you....make you better...stronger....it will bestow upon you a strength that the likes Of the Terminator and Clint Eastwood will not dare stand against.....you will learn that , in this life, there is only one BIG universal truth...."If MAMA ain't happy...ain't NOBODY happy"....OH! and BTW...want a glimpse into your future? have your family go rent...or better still BUY for you the movies "Diary Of A Mad Black Woman" and "Madea's Family Reunion" I know when I was given them...I was surrounded by the gurgling laughter of all of my sons....the neice that I had raised as my own....and even my better half (I'll deal with YOU later Honey...) and heard the echos of "OMG! that's YOU!" And you know what? Being compared to the fictional character MADEA? Ain't half bad...Happy Mother's Day Ladies....Enjoy it while it's here...